I remember back to my late teens and being new to my political beliefs. I felt extremely passionate about my side. The passion was conveyed in my argumentativeness and readiness to go head to head with anyone who had a different view. I rallied protests and demonstrations, and as young people do I made it my purpose to fight the system that I felt was unjust. In my early twenties, I started a political discussion group open to everyone so that I could continue the debate. Discussion was key for me even back then. But in spite of this seeming openness, I was quite intolerant of those people who did not hold my views. I would not even consider being friends with someone who was on the opposite side. If you were in the opposite party or espoused an economic position that was not in line with my views, you were the “enemy”. I operated on fear, intolerance, anger, couched in a very strong need to be right justified by my own concept that my views were the only rational, logical, and correct views.
Wow! How small was I?! I look back and see the errors of my ways. A belief that there is a world as simple as Republican vs. Democrat, Capitalist vs. Socialist, Conservative vs. Liberal is such a small way of viewing things. It took quite a lot to get me to release this dichotomy, and begin to see people as the complex multi-dimensional humans that they are. It took seeing that my own little world had been made quite small by excluding people that I thought I could not possibly befriend. I lost out.
Today I am seeing the same mistake I made as a young person, occur in our country over this election with people of all ages. People are rallying for their “teams”. While this is not atypical, we are a competitive nation, it devolves into hatred and quite frankly is exposing the underlying intolerance people actually hold in their hearts. Rather than seeing both parties’ candidates objectively warts and all, people are arguing, on both sides, that their guy or gal has no warts. Of course they do, they both do. Yes, you may think the other side, the other candidate, and those who will vote for them are ignorant. But their ignorance is perpetuated by your hatred for them, because you do not take the time to share your ideas with them and give them an opportunity to hear a different side from a kind and compassionate voice. Instead you shun them, and the divide gets bigger.
To be clear: intolerance, anger and hatred equate to FEAR. What are people afraid of? Yes, it makes sense we are afraid what will come of our country if this candidate wins or that candidate wins. I get that. But I ask what will happen to our country if we remain divided when one side wins and one side loses? Will we release our anger or will it enrage us more? Will we be able to unify as a country again with both sides coming back to a state of equilibrium? Or will we continue to fragment and grow and nourish our intolerance? Where does the fear stop? Where does the intolerance stop? Where do we draw the line? Are we willing to go down a road, as countrymen, where we actually think we are different, separate from our fellow American brothers and sisters?
Remember: We are all connected. This country is our home. It belongs to all of us. We are all responsible for the divisiveness in our country and the devolution of the American ideal. An ideal where all sides can come together in respectful discussion of the issues. It’s our responsibility to bring the tolerance back. Open our eyes to the fear that we all hold in our hearts, and look upon that fear with love and compassion. We cannot change the world in the name of hatred and intolerance. We can only change the world in the name of love.
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Rebecca Cooley is a Certified Master Coach, Mindfulness Instructor, and Communication Coach with Catalyst Action Coaching. To learn more about her private coaching and classes visit www.catalystactioncoaching.com
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